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A Pelhamite 貝崙客
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紀錄生活,想法,及其他種種
貝崙位於帝國首都北郊,離中城15哩
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Chuck Norris and Java

- Chuck Norris serializes objects straight into human skulls. - Chuck Norris doesn't deploy web applications, he roundhouse kicks them into the server. - Chuck Norris always uses his own design patterns, and his favorite is the Roundhouse Kick. - Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs. - Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your web app will turn into a swing application, and a very bad swing application containing lots of icons of human skulls. - Chuck Norris demonstrated the meaning of Float.POSITIVE_INFINITY by counting to it, twice. - A synchronize doesn't protect against Chuck Norris, if he wants the object, he takes it. - Chuck Norris doesn't use javac, he codes java by using a binary editor on the class files. - Chuck Norris' java code never needs to be optimized. His code is so fast that it broke the speed of light during a test run in Sun's labs killing 37 people. - When someone attempts to use one of Chuck Norris' deprecated methods, they automatically get a roundhouse kick to the face at compile time. - The java.lang package originally contained a ChuckNorris class, but it punched its way out the package during a design review and roundhouse kicked Bill Joy in the face. - Chuck Norris never has a bug in his code, EVER! - Chuck Norris doesn't write code. He stares at a computer screen until he gets the progam he wants. - Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it. - Chuck Norris' binary edited classes ignore Java bytecode verifier. - Chuck Norris methods doesn't catch exceptions becuase no one has the guts to throw any at them. - Chuck Norris will cast a value to any type just by staring at it. - If you get a ChuckNorrisException you'll probably die. - Chuck Norris is the only one who can use goto and const in Java. - Chuck Norris can compile Java code in .NET Framework, obviously just by staring at it. - Chuck dont need to catch an Exception because Java is afraid of the "flying tornado kick" at the moment it throws - Chuck Norris's code can roundhouse kick all other Java Objects' privates - Java visibility levels are public, default, protected, private and "protected by Chuck Norris", don't try to access a field with this last modifier!! - Chuck Norris eats JavaBeans and Roundhouse Kicks JavaServer Faces! - Chuck Norris can divide by 0! - Garbage collector only runs on Chuck Norris code to collect the bodies. - Chuck Norris code uses agressive heap natively - Every single line code of Chuck Norris runs in real time. Even in a multi threading application. - When a CPU load a Chuck Norris class file, it doubles the speed. - Chuck Norris can execute 64bit lenght instructions in a 32bit CPU. - Chuck Norris implements "Indestructible". All the other creatures implements "Killable". - Chuck Norris only program Java web applications to get a .WAR in the end. - Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a Java class very hard. The result is known as a inner class. - Chuck Norris can do multiple inheritance in Java. - JVM never throws exceptions to Chuck Norris, not anymore. 753 killed Sun engineers is enough. - Chuck Norris doesn't need unit tests because his code always work. ALWAYS. - Chuck Norris extends God. - Chuck Norris workstation has so memory and it's so powerful that he could run all java applications in the world and get 2% of resources usage. - Chuck Norris codes generics since 1.3. - Chuck Norris' classes can't be decompiled... don't bother trying.
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